Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Stop that Go-Kart!!

The Lord High Eejit has invited us for a one-off Santa's Poetry Go-Kart Ride.

I thought I'd brain two turkeys with one stone and do mine as a Poetry in Shops as well.  I ended up putting it in a quiet corner of Waterstones Bookshop, having bottled it completely in Marks & Sparks and Tescos.

The carol-singers are getting closer.
Their Away in an off-key Manger
Is heading towards my door
Like some yuletide smart-bomb,
Inevitable and jolly deadly.
Ho, ho, ho.

It'll be kids – it always is, these days.
And they'll be wanting money for their
Half-hearted, half-learned efforts.
A sort of festive mugging, I suppose.
If the light's off, they'll think I'm out.
Ho, ho, ho.


  1. 'A festive mugging'..very good. There is whimsy
    about this poem..I liked it!

  2. I enjoyed this one a lot - yule-tide smart bomb. Heh. I wonder if the people we caroled to when I was a child felt the same way? At least we were delivering presents instead of asking for money.

  3. This is great, jolly deadly! Some manager in Waterstones is going to get a complement from a customer for organising art in the shop! Looks really professional - the card. Well done.

  4. Some class lines and sentiment here, Argent...love 'yuletide smart-bomb' and 'festive mugging' ...oh and too true about the pesky kids ; ) Mucho enjoyo-ed the poem...and a double well-done on placing it in Waterstones - poetry-power! yes!Yes! ; )

  5. It would be a truly cool experience to stumble randomly on this poem while browsing the shop for that last present.

    Have a great holiday!

  6. Terrific. Don't blame you for bottling in M&S. Kudos for the poem and the placement and have a merry one.

  7. marvellous stuff! I've been catching up on everything and bloomin eck!.. you're brain seems to have been going twenty to the dzen with brilliant things!
    Love this poem, nice place to put it too, I'm sure the economics corner was nice and quiet :-)

    The song sounds deadly (very good), It's wierd when that happens isn't it, te old kazzam! thing. Sometimes the muse comes in with a serious attitude and makes a point we weren't really looking into, can't wait to hear the song!
    There is so much to say, but I'll be here for a billion years filling your comment section up, so;
    Have an excellent Christmas! All the best things, catch you soon :-D

  8. Yuletide bombs drop and the lights go out across the world.Great pome Argent and that's a mighty impressively produced shop copy.Someone is in fer a treat.Thanks for suggesting the sleigh ride.
    Ho ho ho Hoppy Christmas!

  9. Good one. The placement -between economics and the british legal system- was oddly appropriate when I thought about it! (Was it deliberate?)

  10. @Rallentanda - (Great name, by the way). Thank you for seeing through the cynicism.

    @Bug - carol-singers delivering presents are welcome at my house any time! This year, the weather's been so horrid that we're escaped their attentions so far.

    @Niamh B - Thank you. I printed the poem out and stuck it to a bit of old card that was in my bits box (I'm an inveterate collector of odds and ends that might come in useful). I didn't want the paper to blow away in a draught. I'll try and visit the shop after Christmas and see if it's still there.

    @Liz - Thanks, high praise indeed from a proper poet :-)

    @NanU - Thank you. I wish there was some way to see if anyone has looked at the poem or not and what they thought. Joyeux Noel!!

    @Emerging Writer - Thank you and a merry one to you too.

    @Watercats - You can say as much (or as little) as ye like, your comments are always fun to read. Will make a serious effort to get the song up, although it's not really appropriate to the season.

    @TFE - Ho ho ho to you and Mrs Eej! thanks for flagging down the Kart for us!

    @Dominic - The placement came down to finding a place where I could do it unobserved, coward that I am, and there was this nice gap... Poetry and Drama are actually above and to the left of the card so not a million miles away. Happy Chrimbles to you.

  11. Try giving them a Humbug and say "Bah!" as you shut the door.

    Best wishes for 2010


  12. Haha Philip, that's a grand idea. All the very best to you hand Mrs H this Christmas.

  13. brilliant, and so very true.
    We had a grown-up group this year, also with a begging bowl, but at least they had their song sheets with them and managed to give us three verses.
    I was glad to tinkle my coin in their box, It was getting rather chilly standing at the door, pretending rapture.

    Happy New Year, Argent. (Oh, it feels good to get back online! and stop eating!)

  14. Lacherie_17 & DFTP - thanks, hope yours was a good one!

    @Friko - we escaped this year and had nary a single caroller come to our door. Happy new year to you and yours.


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