Monday, 22 February 2010

Monday Poetry Bus/Mule-train Thing

This week's challenge from TotalFeckinEejit was to create a poem about anything - or what's in our pocketses (read the full challenge here.)

This one is about when I lived in Ireland, thirty years ago.

My empty, aching head
Leads me up and down,
And up and down
O’Connell Street.
Past the shops,
Past the church
And then
Past the church,
Past the shops
Past the skinny kid begging
With no shoes
And a dress no thicker than tissue paper
To keep out the Limerick cold.
To stir the pity of pityless hearts.
I’m a little richer than she is.
In my pocket are pennies


  1. That's a lovely poem, Argent, one of yourbest.Didn't know ye were from Limero?

  2. This is outstanding, Argent! I love every image in it.

  3. This has a lovely gentle rhythm to it - and I love the way it ends

  4. Good one. Like the way it gets inside a child's mind at the end.

  5. First off, thanks to all of you for the kind words.

    I'm not actually from Limerick, I'm English, but lived in the Emerald Isle for 18 glorious months - a place where you're not considered weird for wanting to be creative!

    I was hoping to convey something of the pointless wandering up and down I did that day. I was 17 and had finished a morning's study at the NIHE. I had no money for the bus back to Shannon, so had to while away the afternoon until my hubs could come and collect me in the car. I really did have just three pennies to my name at that point (we weren't great with money back then!).

  6. there's somethign quite angela ashes about this.. perhaps because it has the word Limerick in it and a begging child... lol! It doesn't mention rain though... :-)

    really enjoyed the pace of this.. time sort of hanging about and the romance of a pause... followed by the harshness of life... nice :-)

  7. Aching is right. I can feel that cold. I love the way the poem takes us up the street - and back again.

  8. you see - this is why i never get round to doing the poetry challenge. Just can't compete with the likes of this. Lovely poem

  9. PS: you have to encorporate the words "like a wave without a shore" into a song

  10. It's only when you wander aimlessly that you really see things. just love the observation, very real (which of course it was, though maybe with poetry it doesn't need to be)
    thanks for sharing
    crazy field mouse

  11. This has such substance.... please, write more for our pleasure.

  12. @Watercats - You're right! How could I have fogotten the rain? It used to pour down.

    @Nanu - That's exactly what that day was like - up and down and up and down...

    @DFTP - You could easily do poetry, just let the words hang out, and goo idea about Wave Without a Shore too.

    @CrazyFieldMouse - It was definitely real but time lends a distance to it - a kind of sepia-toned look to the whole thing.

    @Jimmy - I shall endeavour to please...


Without your comments, I am but a wave without a shore...