Tuesday 26 January 2010

Get in da red car and follow that bus!

The Lord of all Eejit has got the Poetry Bus all fixed up again, Hooray! This week's trip involves writing a poem which includes the words RED CAR in it.

This is my feeble, get-aboard-the-bus-at-any-price effort. It has the virtue of being short.


This red car has seen better days.
Once, it would have slipped out of the garage
Like a shiny red tongue, stuck defiantly out at the world.
The tongue's lolling listlessly now, though
And cannot so much as muster a feeble raspberry.

Wishing I could be in Wicklow on Friday....

15 comments:

  1. I like that one Argent! It's funny and sad and I feel a lot like that car! And you will be in Wicklow Friday!

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  2. I like this :-) I wish I had a car.. :-(
    I still haven't attempted the poetry thing.. may sit down today, lol!

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  3. poor car; could you not a raspberry for it?
    want to come and be a 'miscellany' blogger?

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  4. Like a shiney red tongue? this is brilliant!

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  5. Nice one, Argent...especially liked the tongue-sticking out part and the rasberry ending. Brava!

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  6. You've got me sat here experimenting. Just how feeble a raspberry can I actually blow? It's all about air pressure - if you blow really softly, the air just comes out in a steady stream. You have to increase the pressure slightly to get the tongue vibrating.

    People probably spent hours doing this in the days before radio, TV and the internet.

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  7. I like short, witty poems like this one.

    Re length, I think the Japanese had the right idea. I think our culture has made a virtue of length, which is not necessarily a good thing.

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  8. Oh, I really liked this, and that running image of the tongue is brilliant! Loved the feeble raspberry ending. And "so much as muster". Muster is such a good word.

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  9. All of you are too kind by far to a poor five-minute must-do-something-for-da-bus poem. Wished I could have been in Wicklow yesterday and was thinking about it all day at work. Should have snook off and joined in the fun I reckon.

    @TFE - Funny and sad is what I was after so RESULT!

    @Karen - Thanks!

    @Friko - Poor car indeed! will definitely investigate the miscellany blogger idea.

    @Willow - And thank you!

    @Poetikat - ...And you...

    @Liz - Was quite pleased with the tongue idea, glad it worked for you.

    @Bill - Let me introduce you to the art of Zen Raspberry-blowing, where you don't actually blow a raspberry but become one with the spirit of the raspberry... as taught to my by my Tibetan master Wan-Hung-Lo.

    @Dominic - I am with you on the length thing - sometimes less is more!

    @Titus - Thanks, I like words that aren't commonly used.

    I'll be round to visit all the RED CAR poetry this weekend.

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  10. I do like the red car being like a tongue. Nice one

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  11. "...become one witht he spirit of the raspberry..." Bwahahaha!

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  12. Funny wee car poem.

    :) Quality. The car as a sign of status then dwon the years it becomes an embarassment. It gets us from A to Z, but not with the same enthusiasm.

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  13. @McGuire - I like that: "but with less enthusiasm". Sure is sadly true.

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