Thursday, 30 September 2010

A New Home in the Sky - I Am Zen

"Zen, can you help me please?" This is one of our new offshorians.  Bless him, my single syllable of a name is too much for his tongue.  In all other respects, though, he is perfectly capable, eager, smart, attentive, polite.  I'm starting to wonder if he's actually human.  I know my company has some quite strange recruitment practices but I never expected them to extend quite so far...

They SAY he's from Offshore...

What if he's actually from much further afield?

I know it's hot in Offshore, but what if he's from somewhere even hotter?

Come to think of it, I have not seen him eat or drink since he got here.  Does he sleep?


This morning, he came in with red eyes.  He SAYS it's an eye infection.  Under the fluorescents, it's hard to tell if they're glowing a little bit or just really sore.

I wouldn't put it past my employers to enter into some deal with the Infernal Powers - actually, with my employer's aggressive and subtle negotiation practices, I'd advise those Down Below to read the fine print really carefully or they'll probably find they have signed themselves up to outsourcing their Core Processes to us.  

In which case, I'm guessing the call centre won't be in Mumbai.

In the meantime, my esteemed co-worker may or may not be a soulless denizen of the underworld.

I am Zen.  I really am.


  1. LOLOL! You watch your back there! Maybe he knows Harold?

  2. Loved it! And now I'm wondering...

  3. Bug - heh, maybe he does know Harold, a lot of demons work in iT I seem to remember saying at the start of Harold's story.
    Titus - I'll keep a look out for discarded pitchforks and cloven hoof marks.

  4. isn't there a search engine or computer program called Demon?

    Sadly I have to disagree - whilst IT professionals may well be considered to be in league with satan it has to be left to HR Personnel to be his actual minions on earth


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