Friday, 23 July 2010

The Bidawee Poetry Bus for the Bewildered

This week, the Poetry Bus, in the capable hands of Niamh B, is tackling the topic of confusion.  Click here to see the other passengers.

I'm never usually this early but, meh...

I thought briefly about doing something about the incipient dementia which is gradually creeping up on me these days, but figured others might want that topic (naming no names!!!).  Then this appeared....

What Really Happened in the Garden of Eden

I’m confused, the First Man muttered,
When confronted by the wheel.
It seems I cannot eat it,
And it has no sex appeal.

But it will take you places,
The Devil, he replied.
Speed up your daily living,
And become your manly pride.

I’m confused, the First Man muttered,
This abacus makes no sense.
It’s supposed to help me count things,
But it only makes me tense.

You’ll soon learn how to use it,
Said the Devil, with a laugh.
You’ll be able to predict things,
And even draw a graph.

I’m confused, the First Man muttered,
There’s nothing here to fear.
I have no mortal enemy,
Why would I need a spear?

It’s only for your safety,
Said the Devil’s grinning face.
I’m sure you’ll never need it,
It’s just for 'just in case'.

I’m confused, the First Man muttered
Are all these things for free?
It seems the world is changing
Since I nibbled from that tree.

Relax, and don’t you worry,
The Devil’s voice did soothe.
Your children, they can pay me,
For making life so smooth.

I’m confused, the Woman muttered
What on Earth is all this noise?
Hush, the Devil whispered,
Man is playing with his toys.

Note: no slight upon the male gender is intended here - women have their own silly toys too.


  1. Oh Argent what an offering so witty and confused indeed you put me to shame, love it...

    "I’m confused, the Woman muttered
    What on Earth is all this noise?
    Hush, the Devil whispered,
    Man is playing with his toys."

    Tghis sums it all up so perfectly - brilliant

  2. Thanks Gwei! It was a lot of fun to write too!

  3. Thanks for visiting my transportationpoet.blogspot
    I decided to return the visit.
    Great to know there are others out there ready to see the funny side of life.

  4. Bloody brilliant Argent!!
    Really nothing wasted there, and such a true comment on innocence and how the world is such a crazy place, and funny too, fab.

  5. Argent, this is witty and wonderful! If you can, get ahold of Imre Madach's 19th century play, The Tragedy of Man. Your poem reminds me of his unique take on the interaction between Adam, Eve and Satan.

  6. Masia Mum - Funny is already welcome in my book!

    Niamh - Thanks, glad you laughed.

    Jeanne Iris - Thanks, I'll endeavour to track down the play.

  7. Another brilliant poem. Not only funny but clever and well crafted.
    I really admire your talent.

  8. This is sooo clever and good and clever and funny and clever and... will you please allow me to publish it on my Afrikaans blog so that more people can read it?

  9. OH ... the devil made me do it! Really enjoyed reading your poem today!

  10. Friko - Thanks. this was one of the those nice pieces that just flowed out.

    Human - Yes, of course you can put it on your Afrikaans blog.

    Helen - The Devil does get the blame a lot, doesn't he? Glad you enjoyed.

  11. Brillo!Great rhymes, great lines, great message ,great fun.Great!

  12. Sure we know now what happened in Garden of Eden...the birth of confusion!!
    nice work Argent!

  13. Hi Argent,

    Really enjoyed this - its clever, witty and feels effortless. You have a lovely light touch. I liked this stanza - 'I’m confused, the First Man muttered
    Are all these things for free?
    It seems the world is changing
    Since I nibbled from that tree.'

    The way you introduce a reference of the Fall into it is great storytelling as well.

  14. Shilpa - Thanks!

    Dublindave - Thanks Dave. I'm sure all these trinkets and gewgaws will be our undoing in the end.

  15. I loved this - had to read it to Dr. M. It describes our life together - starting off with nothing & now here we are with two cars, four computers, two cell phones...

  16. good fun pome - though in defence of men can i just say "hair straighteners" and "eye lash extensions"

    Nuff said

  17. lol!.... fabulus! this could make a very cool song also!:-D pixie has a point though about the hair straighteners etc... there are lots of lady things that I don't understand.. irons being one also!

  18. Yes, love, love, loved it. And the devil gets all the best lines, just like Milton!
    Fab, funny and I don't believe the disclaimer note for one second.

  19. Lovely! and as many have noted- Fun & Funny, Thanks.

  20. Delightful little ditty, full of fun and frolic!

  21. I LOVE THIS!!! Truly, fun, clever, witty, ingenious, simple rhymes, but so effective. I can see it as a kind of Bible-class lesson, but with a real zinger of an ending. Great stuff!


  22. Bug - I think mine and my hubs's life has followed the same course: nothing, then toys galore!

    DFTP - Yes, women do have their own silly toys, although the ones of which you speak are alien to me. I used 'man' because it rhymed better :-)

    Watercats - Sister of my heart! What are these 'iron' thingies of which you speak? I have heard it said that the holy mantra associated with them is 'flat side down', but I don't know what that means.

    Titus - In my experience, men have been more toy-obsessed than women on average. But women are catching up, methinks.

    Izzy - Thank you kindly.

    Jinksy - Thank you, it was meant to be fun, so hooray!

    Kat - If Bible class had been more like this then I might have stuck around a bit longer :-)

  23. Great symmetry in the poem, and very witty too.

  24. That is great! Funny, yet sad. (Ilove that combo). Have you set it to music?

  25. Reading this has me rolling on the floor. What a glorious poem, especially to have simply tumbled out, as you say. Lord, I love when that happens. You have a winner here. Amen!

  26. Oh! In all the well-deserved hyperbole, I forgot to give you my link. Poetry Bus Ticket

  27. Peter - Thank you. This is one of my more structured efforts I think.

    Padhraig - I'm considering putting it to music - might be fun.

    Enchanted - Glad you enjoyed! I saw yours and admired.....


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