Sunday 23 May 2010

The Poetry Bus is on Fire

This week's challenge really had me stumped.  It was set by Terresa here.

Basically, we had to write something based on this picture.



Now, I'm not even sure what's going on in this picture. Is she fire-eating? Has a firework just exploded in her face?  Does she have super-power dragon-breath?

Anyhoo, this is what I eventually came up with. Other firewalkers can be found on Terresa's blog (follow above link).

She is fire, she is fire and ice,
Burning bright and bitter cold,
Flaming red and arctic blue
Torn in two, torn in two.

She is ice, she is ice and fire,
Saving warmth and killing chill
Howling wind and homely hearth
Torn in half, torn in half.

He it was that drew the line
Equatored her heart,
And divided her.

(Yeah, I know equator isn't a verb, but this is poetry after all).

24 comments:

  1. Hey Argent, nice work!
    Please check out my response too
    http://bonjour-a-tous.blogspot.com/

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  2. If it wasn'g a verb before, it is now (lol). Well written. Poor thing seems to be on fire... wonder why?

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  3. @Shilpa - Thanks, be over in a tick.

    @Human - Thank you too. I have no idea why she's on fire, the picture makes no sense to me at all.

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  4. Hey Argent, I think you have made perfect emotional sense, it's in the eye of the beholder. Thanks for visting my blog.

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  5. I happen to like equator as a verb, actually.

    Kat

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  6. Good one. I particularly like the repetitions in the last lines of the stanzas.

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  7. Yes, I like this too, and the poem sits well either with or without the prompt. After all the divisions of the previous stanza, I think "equatored" is probably the perfect verb.

    I wonder if we'll ever get to know just what is going on here. Ah well, as least we have a bus full of people to help us on our way.

    Good one Argent; first I've seen and I like your take on it. And the final stanza,
    "He it was that drew the line
    Equatored her heart,
    And divided her."
    is beautiful writing.

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  8. Well done! I liked these lines,

    "Saving warmth and killing chill"

    and

    "Howling wind and homely hearth"

    and also how you made equator into a verb. Most excellent creativity, you have a poet's heart!!

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  9. This could be a lovely song, I think. I feel like you've just started it though...more, more, explore, explore!
    x

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  10. I liked 'equatored'.. making up new words is a human need isn't it?.. anyway.. another scorcher of a poem, i love the fact that there are very dark hidden depths in your writing.. just perfect :-)

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  11. @Gwei Mui - Thank you very much.

    @Poetikat - If neologisms are good enough the Bard...

    @Dominic - Thanks, I'm a sucker for repetition and similarly gaudy poetic devices.

    @Titus - Thank you kindly. Equatored was a an absolute last-minute addition as I was pasting the thing into Blogger's editor, seems to work though.

    @Terresa - Thanks, muchly appreciated.

    @Rachel - It's funny you should say about it being a song. I had the feeling of that when I was writing it. Maybe I'll go back and take another look.

    @Watercats - 'Dark, hidden depths', eh? I always consider my writing to be marignally less edgy than that of Enid Blyton. Cheers!!

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  12. I like this, and it definitely does have that 'sung quality'. I prefer the thought of it ending on the couplet; 'He it was that drew the line / Equatored her heart.'


    But that's just me :-)

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  13. I go along with Padhaig and the "sung quality". Good stuff.

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  14. my favorite part is the ice and fire. you did a great job with it since the photo is beyond wacky

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  15. I equator, you equator, he,she,it equators. Yup, fine by me.
    This is the songwriter in you coming out - can almost hear the torn in two, torn in two...

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  16. @Padhraig - That;s an interesting idea. Sometimes less is more with a poem.

    @Dave - Hi and thanks, I really will have to look into it as a song.

    @Sandra - Whacky that photo certainly is!

    @Peter - Cheers and thanks for the conjugation tips :-)

    @Emerging Writer - And thanks for visiting.

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  17. As I said to Jane, I think she is holding some sort of firework - a 'sparkler'?

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  18. LOVE the last stanza - I think it's a fine use of equator as a verb

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  19. Yip 'equatored her heart' works for me.I liked the clipped stacatto rhythm and repetitions in this.Bueno!

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  20. I love the two sides, "saving warmth and killing chill" and the woman equatored by him. This has a musicality to it, Argent. Good work!

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  21. Maybe you could write a little song for the Watercats to do, eh, Argent? I loved the whole thing. I like it ending on "divided her." It solidifies the whole division thing going on here, with fire and ice, opposing elements. Hell, everybody's a critic. Criticism is worth what you paid for it. I say: Just say nice things about the dam poem, please! And it was a fine poem for a sticky prompt that stumped me too. Here's mine:
    Sorry, fairies everywhere

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  22. @Bug - Thanks!

    @TFE - And you also...

    @Karen - Thanks, will deffo have to look into adding music.

    @Enchanted Oak - Thank you. I'd love to write a song for the Watercats - if only they'd deign to sing something that's less edgy than Barry Manilow :-)

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