These Words
These words have become stones.
I hold them in my mouth
And roll them round and round
To get them smooth,
To knock off
The killing edge.
But smooth or not,
Round or not,
They are still stones.
They lie cold and heavy
On my tongue.
Smooth or not,
Round or not,
They are still stones,
These last words of mine,
And I have to
Let them fall
One
By
One
By
One
To lie in circles
Round my feet
Amid shards
Of Shattered you.
It's odd what comes into your head on the bus.
Pretty cool if you ask me, rolling stones in your mouth, words heavy and smooth with meaning.
ReplyDeleteI like the shards of shattered you
Taking the bus is not bad, i like to people watch and use the time to read or just think.
ReplyDelete"These words" made me think of my mouth being a rock tumbler to shine and polish rocks. then i thought it would be good if the rocks could polish and take the sharp edge off my tongue. I would rather have a tongue with no sharp edges than polished rocks. "These Words" was quite thought provoking, i happy you took the bus.
If you are no a professional writer I'll eat my hat! Pieces as well written as these do not fall naturally fae the mouths of people who ride buses.
ReplyDeletethought-provoking poem, Argent. I like the way a whole new perspective opens with the last word.
ReplyDelete@Niamh - Thank you, I have to confess I was quite pleased with that line too.
ReplyDelete@Heather - The rock-tumbler idea was exactly what I was going for. My tongue could do with some edges being knocked off too.
@Jimmy - You may want to decide which type of mustard you'll be having with that hat :-) I'm just an IT geek by day but words and language have always been my great love and if I could make any kind of living at it, I would.
@NanU - Thanks. This was a piece that more or less wrote itself - which are the best ones I think.
The love of words comes to only those who can appreciate the beauty that many are yet to find.
ReplyDeleteYou my dear... are a writer of words. I shall take my hat off to you long before I will ever eat it.
This was a wonderful poem, Argent. It's visual and physical, stones rolling around in your mouth. It's emotional, too, with that sense of futility and longing. And then that wham-bam final line finishes it off. Good work. I love poems that write themselves. Much easier on us than sweating over them.
ReplyDeleteNot ODD, but AMAZING. Have I said before that you have "a way with words"?
ReplyDeleteI love this - especially because my tongue could use some taming for sure. Perhaps if I visualize the rocks in my mouth - imagine their size & shape - I can think twice before I fling them at people.
ReplyDeleteI totally forgot to tell you that I gave you an award, by the way: http://danabugseyeview.blogspot.com/2010/04/honest-scrap.html
Love the imagery here,the notion of stones as words is brilliant.I like the physical shape of the poem that visually reflects what's going on in the words. A great punchline too. I think this is your best poem.
ReplyDeletepersonally i will do my best to empty my brain of any kind of thought on the bus just to survive, but this is great - like it a lot
ReplyDeleteI've read this a couple of times and keep thinking of the feel of those cold, hard stones in my mouth, the sound of their clinking against my teeth, and the taste of the earth that I swallow. This is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI can't help but think of Audrey Hepburn in "My Fair Lady" with the marbles in her mouth for her elocution lesson with Prof. Higgins.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, "They lie cold and heavy on my tongue" is just one of the brilliant bits of this piece. Well done!
Kat
I could feel them in my mouth, really nice imagery.. and sad... buses are lovely things.. they have a particular smell that reminds me of childhood :-)
ReplyDeletebeautiful poem!
@Jimmy - Thank you, recognition from a fine crafter of words such as yourself is much appreciated.
ReplyDelete@Enchanted Oak - Thank you. This was one of those that I could see and feel very clearly so it was easy to write. Would it were always that easy!
@Human - Thank you.
@Bug - My own tongue could use some smoothing too! Thanks for the award, I'll try and get over and get it.
@TFE - Thanks ye kindly! I like pomes that are laid out to reflect what's happening in them.
@DFTP - I'm usually out of it on the bus - what's going on in my noggin is of more interest to me usually that what's happening with my fellow passangers.
@Karen - Thanks. Your comments was poetic in itself.
@Poetikat - Thanks, I'd forgotten about My Fair Lady, thanks for the rmeinder. Actually, as a kid, I did like putting stones in my mouth and rolling them round for some reason.
@Watercats - Thanks and you're so right about the bus smell! If I ever smell the diesel exhaust from a particular type of engine, I'm instanly five again and going to town with my mum.