This week's driver is Niamb, who set a complex challenge involving email lists, headache pills, dead-letter drops, meetings near the bandstand and the number 7. Ok, maybe I made some of that up, but we had to derive 2 names and a word.
My two names were Debs and Rich, and the word was "annoyed". Other, much better, pomes are here.
So it was me, Debs and Rich at the bus stop.
With its unbreakable panels bashed out
Lying in heaps of winking diamonds around our feet.
The timetable was a mystery of
Spray-can steganography,
A promise of far-off illegible places.
Annoyed, the rain cried over the mess
And the tears soaked us,
We shivering huddled three.
But it was Saturday afternoon
And we were going swimming anyway
So it didn't matter.
this is great, particularly the first two verses. Punchy and energetic - actually, I love that third verse too.
ReplyDeletefantastic!... loved the whole thing, and the ending defining the moment, really lovely and quite sweetly melancholy in a way..
ReplyDeletemy sister and her husband are called debs and rich!, lol.... do do do do do do do do...etc
Oh I like those winking diamonds!
ReplyDeletex
Love those far off, illegible places! My kind of bus stop you have there. I like the comaraderie of hanging around with friends and annoyance not mattering.
ReplyDeletehmmm - recognise that spraycan steganography line from somewhere...that song i can never get the middle section of!
ReplyDeleteGood stuff!
Really enjoyed this, Argent! The winking diamonds and the angry rain—actually, every bit of it is damned good!
ReplyDeleteKat
Argent, I loved this poem. Thank you for the lead-in and for the pleasure of huddling there with you at the bashed-up bus stop. What is steganography? I read that line as "spray-can stenography" and loved it anyway.
ReplyDeleteHere I be
Urban grit! Loved the 'unbreakable' bus stop panels..'Lying in heaps of winking diamonds around our feet.' Deadly work!
ReplyDelete@PF - Thank you. there's a bit of me that thinks the thrid verse should have three lines but I couldn't manage it.
ReplyDelete@Watercats - Eek! What are the odds of my having those names and your in-laws having them? Do-do-do-do indeed!
@Rachel - Thanks, they were just diamonds until abut 5 seconds before I posted the pome.
@NanU - The pome was inspired by the comprehensively vandalised bus stop I walked past this morning on the way to work.
@DFTP - Recognise the "steganography" do you? Can't think where from :-) It's good to recycle.
@Poetikat - Thank you!
@Enchanted Oak - Thanks you too! Steganography means' hidden writing' where one message is obscured by another written over the top of it. It used to be used to keep military messages secret or something.
@TFE - Thanks, I tells em as I sees em. Urban grit is all we have here in this town.
Hey Argent - Love the rain crying over the mess, this is a lovely snapshot...
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff is always to be found here, I like to savour every word.
ReplyDelete@Niamh - thanks!
ReplyDelete@Jimmy - Thanks, I wrote it in an idle 5 minutes this morning at work watching a computer do tedious things.
Just realised I told PF that I couldn't make the thrid verse into three lines - when it is! Duh!
inspired lovely bus stop memories, wonderful little tale, beautifully told.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing
cfm
Yep, I love it too! Instant, recognisible, real.
ReplyDeleteAnd spray-can steganography is a corker, recycled or not!
@CFM - Thank you - the memories are actually fictional, but could easily have happened.
ReplyDelete@Titus - I do like the spray-can steganography line but it's a bit clever-clever.
I love when I can see a poem, and this one is perfectly clear to me, blurred only by the raindrops in my eyes. That's a great ending, too - intention changes everything, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteLove the heavy irony of the unbreakable bus panels and of course the winking diamonds line. Last verse is a killer...
ReplyDelete@Karen - Thanks, this was a poem I could 'see' myself - it's so much easier to write when the images are really clear.
ReplyDelete@Peter - They have replaced the unbreakable panels with more unbreakable panels now - we'll see how long they last!