Be a-Freud, Be VERY a-Freud

New technology is marvellous and I, for one, am generally a fan.

I recently upgraded my mobile phone and discovered that my new one has voice-to-text, which has proved to be very speedy when creating text messages. 

The following true story, however,  provides a salutary lesson - use the tech. but don't trust it.

The other day I received a text, asking about my plans for the next day, and offering a ride to the office.  In reply, I dictated the following 15 fairly straighforward (I would have thought) words:

“Yes I am planning to go into the office and yes please to a lift.”

yes please.

yes.

please.

The other cool thing my new phone has is auto-correction - which works even when you're dictating, apparently.  I was about to press SEND but decided to take just a moment to check the words that had been generated.

“Yes I am planning to go into the office and yes penis to a lift.”

yes penis.

yes.

penis.

Of all the many words my phone's tiny silicon brain could have chosen, it had to choose that one.  Why could it not have decided I was saying 'yes pears' or 'yes peas' or 'yes pleats'?.

Seems even computers make Freudian slips.

The text was intended for my (male) boss.

I’m really glad I read it first. 

I'll be more careful when dicktating in future. 

(Seriously? All that for that one lame pun? - Ed)