Wednesday, 17 August 2011

A New Home in the Sky - Moving Day II

Well, it’s finally happened: the slum-lords and rackrents had decided that we’re outta here. Throwback Towers is to be our home no longer.

Soon the bulldozers will rumble in…

It’s an emotional day for us as we dismantle the Wall of Weird, which has presided over our daily doings this last year.

Down comes the “What Would Paddington Do?” poster that we made ourselves. Paddington Bear has been our faithful moral compass: we've discovered almost any conumdrum can be solves with reference to marmalade sandwiches.

Down come the gnomic sayings of Lisa T.

Last but not least, down comes retro-clock. This is a clock so hideously tacky, so plasticy-nasty, so devoid of any redeeming aesthetic charm that its natural and spiritual home in the world is, of course, with us, its human analogues.

All the chairs have been rounded up and herded into the Purple Zone. The way some of them are clustered together is decidedly conspiratorial, like they’re plotting something. Mind you, it wouldn’t be the first time for some of these chairs.

They have form.

They look innocent enough, and they are perfectly comfy to sit in. The have a nice tall back just right for leaning back against. The unwary soul that does this will be ok for a while, but lean back just a little bit more, just a leetle beet… and WHAM! The chair back will suddenly give way and dump the hapless victim on his head. These chairs used to hang around near open seventh-floor windows, waiting. Waiting and hoping…

I wonder what will become of them. I wonder if we should pin warnings on them or something. I’m not brave enough to do it though, there are about thirty of them and they seem to be eying me suspiciously as I go past.

I empty out the contents of my desk drawers, which is remarkable only for the sheer mundanity of it all: pens, pencils, erasers, pound shop earpiece and microphone for teleconferencing, strangely attractive Christmas tree decoration (not sure why I’m keeping this, to be honest).

And now it’s time to go.

Goodbye Wall of Weird.

Goodbye Purple Zone.

Goodbye staircase challenge (your 12 floors were no match for us in the end).

Goodbye rats (the new place will be quieter and no need for a baseball bat by the desk).

Goodbye Spare Change Guy – hope it all works out for you in the end.

Goodbye Pound Shop and 99p Store.

We’ve seen the new place. It’s clean and new. It doesn’t smell. Acres of desk space await. There’s a room with leather sofas in for our use. The kitchen is devoid of rats and roaches. There’s a big fridge in there with cans of drink in it. There are baskets of fruit and chocolate just lying about the place.

But it won’t be the same.


  1. Put up the tacky clock - maybe that will help :)

  2. Yeah, I think we will be taking retro-clock along with us. It's a shame, the old place was very convenient for the city centre, so we could go into town and pay bills, do shopping, etc. The new place is on a soulless business park, miles from anywhere and will be a real pain to get to as I don't drive.

  3. Baskets of fruit and chocolate just lying about! and no rats, even?
    Hate those soulless business parks, though. Can't possibly walk there, bus service waaaay down the street once a day each way; it's a car-dealers' conspiracy.

  4. The world would be a better place if we all asked "what would Paddington do"

    I have chairs like that in my office - perhaps they are breeding

  5. NanU, I'm hoping the free chocs and fruit will take the sting out of moving. I'm wondering how long they will last before some cost-cutting accountant decides we don't need them.

    DFTP, yes Paddington has been at least as reliable a moral guide as anybody else and watch out for the chairs - they're up to no good.

  6. Good luck with your move! A change can be as good as a rest they say...

  7. Thanks, Dominic.

    By the way. The baskets of fruit and choccie bars, and the fridge of cans of drink were nowhere to be seen when we rocked up there this morning. What a Swizz!


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