This is my feeble, get-aboard-the-bus-at-any-price effort. It has the virtue of being short.
This red car has seen better days.
Once, it would have slipped out of the garage
Like a shiny red tongue, stuck defiantly out at the world.
The tongue's lolling listlessly now, though
And cannot so much as muster a feeble raspberry.
Wishing I could be in Wicklow on Friday....
I like that one Argent! It's funny and sad and I feel a lot like that car! And you will be in Wicklow Friday!
ReplyDeleteI like this :-) I wish I had a car.. :-(
ReplyDeleteI still haven't attempted the poetry thing.. may sit down today, lol!
I love this!!
ReplyDeletepoor car; could you not a raspberry for it?
ReplyDeletewant to come and be a 'miscellany' blogger?
Like a shiney red tongue? this is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteOh, this was really good!
ReplyDeleteNice one, Argent...especially liked the tongue-sticking out part and the rasberry ending. Brava!
ReplyDeleteYou've got me sat here experimenting. Just how feeble a raspberry can I actually blow? It's all about air pressure - if you blow really softly, the air just comes out in a steady stream. You have to increase the pressure slightly to get the tongue vibrating.
ReplyDeletePeople probably spent hours doing this in the days before radio, TV and the internet.
I like short, witty poems like this one.
ReplyDeleteRe length, I think the Japanese had the right idea. I think our culture has made a virtue of length, which is not necessarily a good thing.
Oh, I really liked this, and that running image of the tongue is brilliant! Loved the feeble raspberry ending. And "so much as muster". Muster is such a good word.
ReplyDeleteAll of you are too kind by far to a poor five-minute must-do-something-for-da-bus poem. Wished I could have been in Wicklow yesterday and was thinking about it all day at work. Should have snook off and joined in the fun I reckon.
ReplyDelete@TFE - Funny and sad is what I was after so RESULT!
@Karen - Thanks!
@Friko - Poor car indeed! will definitely investigate the miscellany blogger idea.
@Willow - And thank you!
@Poetikat - ...And you...
@Liz - Was quite pleased with the tongue idea, glad it worked for you.
@Bill - Let me introduce you to the art of Zen Raspberry-blowing, where you don't actually blow a raspberry but become one with the spirit of the raspberry... as taught to my by my Tibetan master Wan-Hung-Lo.
@Dominic - I am with you on the length thing - sometimes less is more!
@Titus - Thanks, I like words that aren't commonly used.
I'll be round to visit all the RED CAR poetry this weekend.
I do like the red car being like a tongue. Nice one
ReplyDelete"...become one witht he spirit of the raspberry..." Bwahahaha!
ReplyDeleteFunny wee car poem.
ReplyDelete:) Quality. The car as a sign of status then dwon the years it becomes an embarassment. It gets us from A to Z, but not with the same enthusiasm.
@McGuire - I like that: "but with less enthusiasm". Sure is sadly true.
ReplyDelete