As we were buying our tickets, the cashier asked us if we wanted standard seats or "Premier" seats (more leg-room, more comfy, etc). We said yes, and dutifully paid an extra quid each.
After taking out a mortgage for some Pick 'n Mix and a drink, we headed into the auditorium and took our seats in row F, just like it said on our ticket.
Now, here's the silly bit. We had paid an extra pound for these seats, but the place was almost empty (the film is now nearing the end of its run, so there were about six people, including us, in the place). We could have bought standard seats and sat in the posh ones. No-one came in during the movie to check that everyone was correctly seated. We would have got away with it.
The thing is, if we had have done that, I would have been uncomfortably aware throughout the whole movie that I was sitting in a seat to which I was not entitled - even though I would not have been depriving anyone else of a seat or doing any serious damage to the cinema's profit margins (not after the Pick 'n Mix, anyway!).
I bet that cashier thought we were right chumps. Actually, I bet he had a bet going with the popcorn seller/Pick 'n Mix Mortgage Adviser about how many people he could con into shelling out an extra quid for something they could have for nothing.
But that's me: if it says "keep off the grass", I keep off.
The above sign was next to a set of stairs in the Forbidden City, Beijing. I did my best to obey it too.
I know exactly what you mean about the not entitled bit. I would have done the same because it's Sods Law with me that, even in an empty cinema, the rightful owner will show up and get indignant. Or, 5 seconds before the show starts, 200 people will walk in eagerly clutching the premiere tickets!
ReplyDeleteHowever,I strongly suspect you weren't conned with the extra quid bit. I think that was a decoy to attract your attention away from the real scam at the Pick n Mix counter!
lol!.. I'm one of them too! If I see a policeman I'm instantly guilty.. I'm a crap lier.. I have no neck to blag things, steal or con.. I was born with an uncanny ability to put myself up for perpetual annoyance because of my own un-neckiness!...
ReplyDeleteThat sign is great, there's nothing worse than falling down :-D
"Pick 'n Mix Motgage Adviser" Cracked me right up!
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly is Pick 'n Mix?
I have no poker face myself - I'm an open book & would no doubt have felt & LOOKED guilty during the whole movie!
ReplyDelete@Dave - You could be right about the decoy thing, never thought of that.
ReplyDelete@Watercats - I too am lacking in the neck department. How does one acquire it?
@Justin - Pick 'n Mix is where they have a lot of tubs of all different kinds of candy. You get a paper bag and fill it up with whatever you want from as many different tubs as you like. It's sold by weight and currently, the cinema price for it is higher than gold.
Another Delusions classic. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteIf you book on line for cinemas you can tick "student" price with no questions - most of the time you can do this in the cinema too without question: but i have never done so unless i actually WAS a student (even part time counts).
ReplyDeleteI'd bet loads of people do though.
Good luck with the not falling down
They say that one way to tell a Canadian from an American is at a red light at 3 AM, with no traffic in any direction. Like you would, it seems, we'll just sit there waiting 'til it goes green.
ReplyDeleteOne of the 'rules' I found the hardest to break was when I was going to miss my plane unless I jumped a queue - had a serious argument with myself before I convinced myself I could live with the dirty looks I might get.
@Bug - sorry, I missed you out in my last set of responses. I have no poker face either. I think lying convincingly take a deal of practice.
ReplyDelete@Human - thanks you, I shall try to keep it up.
@DFTP - Oooh, I don't think I could do that. They'd just KNOW when I pitched up at the flicks with my bogus student ticket and I'd be out on my ear.
@Deborah - I think I'd like Canada. I accidentally queue-jumped once: I didn't realise where the queue started or ended and just walked up to the bus and got on. Boy did I feel bad when this was pointed out to me in no uncertain terms by my fellow passangers. I guess I'd have just ended up missing the plane.
Some years ago I commuted daily from Norwich to London. Caught the 6.40 a.m. train to Liverpool Street and 12 hours later caught the train back home.
ReplyDeleteOn Friday evenings the train was double-packed. People going away for the weekend etc. I used to have to stand squashed up in the corridor for a couple of weeks until I found out that the first class dining car always had a few seats spare, so I took one. Soon after I'd sat down every seat was taken and people were standing in the centre aisle of the carriage too. No way could any dinners be served. I discovered it was always like this.
It never bothered me.
I would bet you a pick a mix that you would have been arrested if you fell down in the Forbidden City. As for the guilty feelings, this is being used by cops all over. They say something like " youve been nabed chump, now fess up cos we know what you done" and then we blab our guilty conscience.
ReplyDelete@PhilipH - You're a braver man than I. I bet I would still be crushed standing up in standard class on those trains right up to my last day.
ReplyDelete@Smoke - You're right and if a cop said to me "come on, we know you did it", I'd probably blush bright red and fess up. I'm such a wuss.
You and me both, chum. Break the law? Never! Take something I'm not entitled to? OMG! I get hot flushes just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteThere's a "Coffee Can Law" in the States. Maybe you've heard of it. Each day someone buys donuts and puts them in the workplace lounge with a coffee can. If you take a donut, you're supposed to throw money into the can. Total honor system.
ReplyDeleteSupposedly it works. Usually people throw in more money than necessary. Your story reassures me that honest schmucks outnumber the con-men in the world.
ps- jelly beans or cherry tomatoes in the title bar?
@Brazen - Yep, honest schmuck is about right. I once woked at a place with the coffee-can and it did seem to work (at least, I assume it did as the candy was regularly replenished). The title thing is a close-up of cinamon tic-tacs (I love close-ups of lots and lots of the same type of object).
ReplyDeleteYes when did going to the cinema become quite so complicated (and expensive!)?
ReplyDeleteI've been listening to your songs...is that you singing? Lovely voice.
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And I love the lyrics to the hyperbole one...and the moment in the sun one. Is that you on piano too? By heck.
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@Rachel - I'm pretty certain the cinemas make their money off the food & drink sales rather than the pictures themselves and it's only complicated because chumps like me let them get away with it. Thank you for the kind words about the singing. It is me playing and singing everything and they are my songs too. I had a mad productive phase a while ago and it seems to have faded a bit lately which is annoying, hey ho.
ReplyDeleteWell, if productive has gone quiet that's when you have to turn 'share them with the world' up louder!
ReplyDeleteWe smuggle food and drink into the cinema (when we go which is not often - we live miles from a cinema these days). We took a whole picnic into 'titanic' once (we were not alone in that either!).
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