Tuesday 24 December 2013

Gift-wrapping Blues

A little seasonal fun.  Feel free to make up your own tune or extra words...

Gift-wrapping Blues

Some, they have a talent, a real artistic flair,
To make their gifts look lovely, so clearly wrapped with care.
Adorned with bows and ribbons, with bits of tinsel in.
Now gaze upon my own poor gift, like something from a bin.

Chorus:
Oh, why can't all my Christmas gifts be oblong?
Oh why can not the gifts I give be square?
Now I bet you think that this is quite an odd song.
But present wrapping fills me with despair.
I bet you think that I am quite pathetic,
Wishing for a world's that's parallel.
But if only everything was geometric
It would save me from a yearly Christmas hell.


My sister's gifts are perfect, like little works of art.
It's clear that every fold and bow is something from the heart.
My presents, let me tell you, are also wrapped with love.
They only LOOK like things I wrapped up while wearing boxing gloves.

My mother has a magic way with string and bow and tape.
To fold, to tuck with genius and swathe the oddest shape.
It kills me, when I start to wrap my perfect sure fire hits
The flippin' paper's shredded by all the pointy bits.

This year I think I have a plan, I think it will impress
It's simple and it's easy and will put an end to stress.
It's really very basic, and you'll know I'm not a rube
'Cos everybody's gift this year will be a Rubik's cube.

Chorus 2
We are nearly at the end of this quite odd song,
And I have found the answer to my prayer.
And although my presents will not all be oblong
It's even better for me that they're square.
So now my heart it is no longer sinking
And present-wrapping's not a thing to fear
But, wait a bit, what's is this that I'm thinking
What the hell am I gonna get you all next year?


Merry Christmas to you all....!!!

4 comments:

  1. I'm not surprised. I always thought of you as more of a folk-rock artist than a rapper.

    You got me trying to think up an extra (last) verse! I liked the start but I couldn't get past it:"And now I ought to wrap it up..."

    Merry Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oooh, Dominic, 2 puns in one comment!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! Once again, where's the video?

    P.S. You know the answer don't you? BAGS! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chuckling....delightful as ever....
    I found the answer to this problem last year already,
    I get the two daughters to rap mine!

    ReplyDelete

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