tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post2983699511439120488..comments2023-07-17T08:19:24.624+01:00Comments on Delusions of Adequacy: The Poetry Bus replacement train serviceArgenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10532506690426639326noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-61016380879869717602010-03-11T21:49:57.640+00:002010-03-11T21:49:57.640+00:00"all snow white and seven dwarfed"... fe..."all snow white and seven dwarfed"... fecking fantastic image!.. I love the way this looks like a computerised sound wave of a train sound on the page.. :-) marvellous stuff missis!Batteson.Indhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10846214578565824955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-79141978418107592642010-03-11T03:10:54.998+00:002010-03-11T03:10:54.998+00:00"Cradled in hope" is exactly what I see ..."Cradled in hope" is exactly what I see when the others are sitting on the train/bus on which I long to be. Well, at least you have some company on this platform. ; )Dr. Jeanne Irishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11277286531162894465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-65584210682997632972010-03-11T00:25:06.221+00:002010-03-11T00:25:06.221+00:00The whole thing is good but I love, love, love tha...The whole thing is good but I love, love, love that last line!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12003379181294550035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-7019401898846666062010-03-10T23:38:35.875+00:002010-03-10T23:38:35.875+00:00Lovely poem out of such a brief snapshot.Loved the...Lovely poem out of such a brief snapshot.Loved the<br />'Pensive, bored, self-absorbed.<br />Sleepy, happy, tired,<br />All Snow-White-and-seven-dwarved,' Deadly and also the<br />'Keeping all my<br />Personal longings with me <br />At all times.'<br />Funny sad, neat and complete!Totalfeckineejithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05352708391465031655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-12682000850948702722010-03-10T12:44:52.216+00:002010-03-10T12:44:52.216+00:00I agree with Titus, how very apt!I agree with Titus, how very apt!Terryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16217213425292233182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-81614546322609536142010-03-10T10:06:28.691+00:002010-03-10T10:06:28.691+00:00Very nice. I too like Sleepy, happy, tired, / All ...Very nice. I too like <i>Sleepy, happy, tired, / All Snow-White-and-seven-dwarved</i> and the endlines - the despondency of that (un)ending - very evocative of that worn-down and weary aspect of dependecy on intermittent public transport schedules. Been there :-)Padhraig Nolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11010869074911253314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-81301905729307483902010-03-10T04:04:43.065+00:002010-03-10T04:04:43.065+00:00I actually wrote this poem whilst taking part in a...I actually wrote this poem whilst taking part in a really boring conference call, listening to a man who is so dynamic I call him the human moggedon. Thanks to all who have commented.<br /><br />@NanU - Yes I do keep my personal longings with me at the airport :-)<br /><br />@Niamh B - The snow-white-and-seven-dwarfed line just popped into my head as I was writing the list of adjectives. Glad you liked it.<br /><br />@Titus - The 'keeping my personal longings' line had been rattling around in my head for a couple of days but the rest of the poem didn't arrive until I was actually writing it (if that makes any sense).<br /><br />@Pure Fiction - Thanks, the centred format was done because, not being a proper poet, I have no concept of internal rhyme schemes and proper structure, so the lines are all different lengths. Centring it made it look neater.<br /><br />@Swiss - Snow White seems popular, doesn't she?<br /><br />@Crazyfieldmouse - Thanks, hadn't thought of the end actually tying with the beginning. Truth is, where poetry is concerned, I don't think at all :-)<br /><br />@Rachel - Thanks. If I had a pound for every train I've ridden and another one for the ones I've missed....<br /><br />@Poetikat - There's nothing quite so depressing as having to get somewhere then finding that you can't get there and it's all beyond your control.<br /><br />@Emerging Writer - I think we should all leave our personal longings on the bus!Argenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10532506690426639326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-84677819197628999542010-03-09T18:41:01.233+00:002010-03-09T18:41:01.233+00:00Oh lovely. Sometimes I leave my personal longings ...Oh lovely. Sometimes I leave my personal longings on the trainEmerging Writerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06539530495238043923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-51968652550861406132010-03-09T16:46:20.837+00:002010-03-09T16:46:20.837+00:00I'll never get there now. It's heart-break...I'll never get there now. It's heart-breaking. Very good.Kat Mortensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16877694888419628533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-87228837394063976632010-03-09T13:48:14.407+00:002010-03-09T13:48:14.407+00:00Yes, some lovely moments - the dwarves have it. I ...Yes, some lovely moments - the dwarves have it. I especially like the potion of your life in the intro...bewitching!<br />xRachel Foxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11803852725693518924noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-53584023357406356992010-03-09T13:17:32.931+00:002010-03-09T13:17:32.931+00:00just loved the 'personal longings' bit, ec...just loved the 'personal longings' bit, echoes back so beautifully to the announcers voice at the beginning.<br />thanks for sharing<br />crazy field mouseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-50228805673996676822010-03-09T09:03:35.544+00:002010-03-09T09:03:35.544+00:00the snow white line!
and again because i can...
th...the snow white line!<br />and again because i can...<br />the snow white line!swisshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17924594772578153947noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-48662775240654595122010-03-08T23:37:28.633+00:002010-03-08T23:37:28.633+00:00This is a really nice poem, Argent. I love the mid...This is a really nice poem, Argent. I love the middle verse in particular - those seven dwarved lines really work. Perfectly paced and put together. (love the format of it too.)Pure Fictionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04265599089734430505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-43049849672303365172010-03-08T22:32:29.633+00:002010-03-08T22:32:29.633+00:00Oh, loved it! Especially the
"Keeping all m...Oh, loved it! Especially the <br />"Keeping all my<br />Personal longings with me <br />At all times."<br /><br />It acutely reminded me of being trapped in Wales on a Sunday night, having tried to get from Chester to Bristol. Such vivid writing I was right there again.Titushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16380213493011623153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-44638656454925604572010-03-08T19:15:36.836+00:002010-03-08T19:15:36.836+00:00Pensive, bored, self-absorbed.
Sleepy, happy, tire...Pensive, bored, self-absorbed.<br />Sleepy, happy, tired,<br />All Snow-White-and-seven-dwarved,<br /><br />Brilliant lines - snow white and seven dwarved as a verb is feckin fantastic... like the keeping personal longings too - fantastic.Niamh Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06519443787482685320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7254559936115487829.post-49870481527505850552010-03-08T14:52:31.452+00:002010-03-08T14:52:31.452+00:00that's a really nice one, Argent! It just perf...that's a really nice one, Argent! It just perfectly captures how I feel when some other train goes by, not even considering me. And those people on it - they never even realized they were passing a station, let along wished they could have shared their train. I bet you keep your personal longings with you at all times in the airport as well ;-)NanUhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11596765792663269178noreply@blogger.com