Yes, it's pome time again, and this week, TotalFeckinEejit has set us the task of creating a protest pome about anything that gets our goat and makes us mad.
He wanted bile, he wanted vitriol, passion, blood, sweat and tears. What he's getting is this cheesy song because, while I can whinge with the best of them, I could not no how create a proper pome this week. If you want to hear what it sounds like, scroll down to song no 6 in my ReverbNation widget over there on the right and hit PLAY.
These Are the Things
Tell me now, Doctor, how long have you got?
Will you feel my bumps, shall I stare at a blot?
Shall I answer your questions, choose A, B or C?
No, I’ll tell you, Doctor, what’s eating at me.
The day started badly, I was under a cloud.
When the kid on the bus played his iPod too loud.
Now that makes me angry, and that makes me mad.
So I knotted his headphones and I strangled the lad.
These are the things that get me.
These are the things that make me mad.
These are the things that upset me.
These are the things that make good people bad.
“Shazza 4 Bazzer” it said on the wall.
"Man U 4 Eva” in illiterate scrawl.
So I got me a spray-can and haunted the place.
The next kid that scribbled got my tag on his face.
There were turds on the pavement, for unwary feet.
The carpet’s fair ruined with the shit off the street.
I know where that dog lives – and his owner will know.
That I fed the beast Ex-lax, now look at him go! (and go, and go)
And then in the workplace, I cringe all day long.
It's a buzzword bonanza and I think that it's wrong.
It was "leverage this" it was "synergise that"
Till I shifted their paradigms with my baseball bat.
So please tell me, Doctor, now you've heard my tale.
Should I be in the nuthouse or languish in jail.
See, I think I'm normal and I'd do it again.
It's the rational response to a world gone insane.
P.S I'm not intending to make a habit of doing songs - it is the Poetry Bus after all, not the Music Bus, that's a different one altogether.